Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed something happening in the comment section of my blog, and while it was incredibly flattering at first, I’ve decided that we all need to chat about it. You see, I don’t have the perfect life.
And before anyone starts railing on me about my perceived first world problems, let me clarify: I am incredibly happy and feel lucky every single day that I am living the life that I have. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have the best friends and family and boyfriend (and crazy mutt!) that a girl could ever ask for. However, it isn’t perfect!
Where does this come from? Ever since the new year, I’ve noticed a dramatic increase in comments from readers telling me that I “have a dream life” or that they “wish they had my life.” Y’all, this is a tricky thing. Like I said, I love reading those comments because they make me feel good and encourage me to continue on with some of the ridiculousness that I call fun. However, it’s a slippery slope and I don’t want anyone reading to think that I am living some type of charmed existence.
For example? My parents and I get into one family dispute every week at minimum, and it typically involves our company. Three of us always equals three opinions, and we frequently drive each other nuts! Or, last week I came home from work and Tally had thrown up five times: twice by the front door, once in my living room, once in my bedroom, and once on my bed. In addition to being adorable, Tals also has this unique ability to puke up neon yellow bile when she is upset, and she largely uses it to her advantage when she is mad at me. She was pissed that I had been leaving her so frequently, so she decided to pay me back by retching all over my apartment. Lovely.
Did I mention that I am absolutely hating living a 2.5 hour plane ride away from Will? It sucks. Yes, the visits are fun and I really look forward to those weekends, but cramming all of your relationship into sanctioned 48-hour windows is not easy…and it’s actually quite stressful. I also smashed a glass into a cabinet last night while attempting to put it away, and I’m pretty sure there is a loose shard floating around in my thumb somewhere. Top that off with the sea urchin quill that is still lurking in my foot, and I’m confident I’m a hot bed for infection.
So you see? No one is perfect and everyone has their drama!
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Make me feel better—what’s your drama this week?
40 Comments
I am three days away from a half marathon and my daughter is getti a chest cold. Aack! Praying it keeps away, so hard to do when she wants to snuggle all the time
Working on removing the drama in my life. I know I can’t actually remove it, but it’s more about not letting it bother me. And I think that’s what you’re excellent at. You don’t let things bother you or you don’t show it, which has provided a huge inspiration for me (seriously). It’s kind of like What Would Heather Do. 😉 Hang in there! xo
Aw, you’re sweet, Ms. Heidi 🙂 And yeah, I don’t love to show when I’m bothered by things but when I finally do, WATCH OUT!
Ha!!! Ummm, I don’t think those little inconveniences will be enough to squelch the “perfect life” comments. Other than the distance between you and Will, which sucks a heap, I’d say you have a tiny sliver of normalcy in an otherwise sea of awesome. You’ll have to “do better” to convince me your life isn’t “perfect”. 😉
Well, I could go into more details about the fantastic grad school loan payments I’ve just started chipping away at, but I figure no one really wanted to go there 🙂
We’ve both been semi employed for two years now which is incredibly stressful personally and on a relationship. The whole totally broke, scrapping by thing is tough when you both have degrees and are professionals in a field. I would say semi unemployed, but that would be negative. I always try to look at the good stuff like my health, my getting a master’s, and the fact that I can still buy a beer at the local brewery during happy hour if I want to. It’s all perspective. We can’t judge ourselves against others or what could be. We just have to live the lives that we are meant to live and enjoy.
That does sound stressful. I completely understand how chaotic grad school can make life, and like I just mentioned above, my grad school loans are another layer of icing on my cake that I’d rather not think about 🙂 Plus, local beer ALWAYS wins out in the end!
Even a perfect life isnt perfect….you just have to learn how to deal with the imperfections of it all…I do think that blogging should be positive, and that is why I like ur site. Everything is positive and uplifting! If I blogged about every time something not perfect happened to me that is all my site would be about!
I agree! I read blogs that make me happy, that offer a positive perspective. When you’re only talking about the positive, I can see why people might thing things are ‘perfect’ but in reality – we all are just people with the same frustrations and not perfect things. You just choose not to blog about the not happy stuff. And that’s why we keep coming back 🙂
Agreed. I don’t mind some negative stuff on blogs because that’s the way life is, but I don’t like reading ones that choose to focus on the negative. Too much stress!
Drama: convincing my family my lifestyle choice is completely acceptable. Drama: doing all those little things you have to do to make a non-traditional life sustainable (affordable, comfortable, etc.)
(I had this response typed up and then while out on a bike ride, I got to thinking: people say you have a perfect life because you do The Work. You work full time but you do The Work of saying yes to, what seems to be, all the awesome opportunities that come your way. You don’t let the details of life–work, chores, etc.–stop you from doing the Things of Life. And the fact you do that Work is even better than a “perfect life.”)
You know what’s funny? Sometimes my biggest life stress is that I say yes to all the opps that come my way but when combined with work (and up until August, grad school), it was absolutely too much…but I hate saying no to anything because you never know when you’ll get that same opportunity again, you know? I guess you just sleep when you’re dead 🙂 But thank you for the kind thoughts!
I hear ya on the long distance! Alex and I did it for 2.5 years – it sucks but once you’re in the same city, it’s funny how quickly you forget that there was ever distance! When I’m gone on business trips for 3-4 days, it feels like eternity! But before, we’d go 3-4 WEEKS between seeing each other. Perspective shifts, that’s for sure!
I bet! I talk to Heidi (BananaBuzzBomb) about this a lot and she tells me stories about when she and her husband were apart for months because of the military…now THAT’s perspective. Makes me feel like such a whiner and totally acts as a check that it could always be worse.
I’ve always appreciate how real you keep it. Your adventures are always fun to follow along on, but I know you aren’t the “everything is rainbows and butterflies” type. You’re genuine and straight up, and sarcastic. Which is sweet. Thanks for being so candid on this post!
My reality this week? I spent the past 3 hours cleaning my dirty, smelly chemistry lab. Being a chemist is not glamorous, folks.
A) Seriously, when will they come up with a sarcasm font? Because that would make my life.
B) That lab cleaning sound horrendous. Seriously, awful. I hate cleaning my house so I can’t imagine how bad it would be to deal with chemicals 🙂
Well shit—- One less person in the perfect club… it’s starting to get lonely over here..
Thanks for the welcoming 😉
I don’t keep up with the comments on your blog to know what you’re talking about, but – being a blogger, I know what you’re talking about.. It’s so easy for people to realize that blogs are NOT out whole lives. No one blogs about the crappy stuff. I mean, they do. But not all the time, or that would be depressing. In a way, blogs are usually the highlights reel of someone’s life – the good and interesting things that people want to hear. So people tend to think that’s all that a blogger’s life is – the good. But it’s so much more than that.
I don’t blog about a lot of my feelings (which are depressing), how much I eat dessert (which is a lot), when my dog tears up my carpet (gotta love the animals), or when I’m just having a really bad day. But blogger’s are people too. Our lives are just like everyone else’s!
Really glad you posted this, ’cause I feel this way a lot too.
Yeah, that’s an interesting point that I think of a lot– so many people meet me in real life and say that they feel like they “know” me. While I’m glad that they feel that way and I appreciate that I try to convey a lot of myself via my blog, it is absolutely NOT my whole life. There is so much that happens outside of blog world, you know? I mean, I’ve got stuff whirling around that y’all will probably hear about in a few months when it settles…or maybe never 🙂 You know?
My drama is that my job is being based on how well 8 year olds can take hours and hours worth of testing all week – and that’s not even the real drama! That’s the part I can say on the internet! I am so terrible with stress it’s ridic.
Ugh, I REMEMBER THOSE TESTS! I worked in Sped which was awful because the kiddos always struggled enormously which, of course, reflected my performance with good ol’ NCLB, but at the same time, they were doing the absolute best that they could. Silly.
I can relate to your comments. Problems vary but we all have them.
We have a pretty good life (I’m told this by quite a few people) We work part time, do a bit of travelling etc..
But.. you never really know what issues people face (I’m a private person so I don’t often share them)
Being positive despite these things is the trick. Something you do well!
Thanks for being honest. Keep the positive posts/tweets & photos coming as they probably inspire more people than you think!
Thanks Chris 🙂 And I think you’re right–sometimes staying upbeat despite everything else is totally the key.
OMG, Tals!! What a drama queen!
I know it’s hard living so far from Will, but it “will” be worth it! I really think living 2 hours away from each other for the first year of mine and Patrick’s relationship really helped us develop a strong foundation to build from. It requires good communication, something that can easily be overlooked when overpowered with physical connection in the first stages of a relationship.
I’m super upset that I think something in my left calf is strained and I have a 5k this Saturday and my half marathon next Sunday!!
Very true. Will and I Facetime nightly for at least an hour (what did I do before Facetime?!) which, at the very least, confirms that we communicate well 🙂 But, I’d rather chat over coffee. Sigh. And Tally…right?! You’ve met her so I know you understand the sass that she is exuding!
PS Did your Albion Fit shirt arrive yet?
You forgot to use the crying white cry “First world problems” meme in this post. You may want to consider revision.
http://i.imgflip.com/1bhf.jpg
Dammit. I missed the boat on that one. I really should just make one of my own the next time I’m sobbing sadly to myself.
forgot to mention… Hot water pipe in the roof burst last month flooding the bedroom, Also last month our Labrador got sick (she is ok now) also had a few health drama’ and then there is family… Hope that makes you feel a bit better 🙂
..and then there is family 🙂 That made me laugh!
I feel you on the passive aggressive dog behavior. One of my dogs has ruined my carpet by being a passive aggressive floor pooper. She is fully house trained. Just not when she’s mad at me. And it is never just pooping on the carpet. She like grounds it into the carpet.
I know it’s not funny, but when you said she grounds it into the carpet, I totally giggled 🙂 Tals doesn’t do that because she is so neurotically clean, but I totally get the whole “dog giving your the finger” thing!
This post is great, Heather! I have to say- I’ve read so many of your posts and looked at your photos and thought “whoa- her life is amazing!” And yes, you’ve had some really incredible experiences and done really cool things! But I know that no one’s life is “perfect.” We all have problems, and most of us bloggers choose to show the sunnier side of life.
Being human and having “flaws” makes you an even better person- and I think it’s great that you shared that!
And yeah… I would imagine that living so far away from Will SUCKS. Hopefully he’ll move to Colorado…. everyone’s doing it…
Thanks, Lauren 🙂 I did hear that a few people were heading this way! Are you coming soon???!
We depart from Maryland April 25th. For good! 🙂
I always enjoy reading your blog and hearing about your adventures, especially your Colorado adventures (because they inspire me to drive down from Nebraska and explore the Rockies on my weekends). And I love your joy of life, where you live, and what you do. Sharing the positives more than the negatives doesn’t mean the negatives aren’t there too, you just don’t focus on them. I fully empathize with Tally’s throwing up…my cat eats things he shouldn’t and then throws up in various places. The worst was waking up to the sound of him barfing in my bed!
I think my main drama this week is the looming conference presentation that’s still in the notes phase, and a presentation proposal for a national conference that’s due in two weeks. And how quickly my schedule between now and Thanksgiving is filling up, although that’s more of a stressor than drama.
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Lol, Tally sounds a lot like my dog! Simone, a one year and four month old hard-headed dachshund who has serious separation issues. In addition to that, when she doesn’t get her way… she pees all over the house and leaves a nice little trail for me to clean. Gotta love our 4-legged babies.
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