Bear with me on this one because I’m not entirely sure where I’m going with it…
I read a post yesterday from Erica called Are Most Bloggers Liars? that kinda got my wheels turning. Truthfully, she has some valid points.
Do most bloggers show you everything in their daily life?
Hell no.
Should they?
Probably not.
That would be creepy and disrespectful to people in their real life, no? Personally, I’m very open about my outdoor adventures and fitness kicks, but I am also private about personal matters that have nothing to do with either of those topics. Just because someone chooses to have their own little spot on the interwebs doesn’t mean their entire life is a free-for-all, right?
But does this really make them liars?
In my opinion, it does not, but I guess that’s because lying has a negative connotation and I don’t want that associated with people {like myself} who respect their own privacy. Where it gets tricky—and more likely to Erica’s point—is in the healthy living community where some bloggers tend to tout themselves as health experts, among other accolades. Truthfully, there are a handful of these peeps that really get under my skin, if only because it just isn’t real. These gals will get so caught up in their carefully constructed images that they fail to notice where reality ends and the perceived image begins. Some readers know what’s what, but others maybe don’t…and that gets dangerous.
So, back to the original point: are they liars?
The reason that this caught my attention is because I also recently read about a blogger in Georgia that bandited a half marathon last weekend in order to write a blog full of selfies. I’m sure y’all have seen it, and if you read Runner’s World, you likely saw their rebuttal article {which had me laughing!} Y’all, it’s going crazy over there and the amount of hatred that is getting thrown at that woman in the comments is ridiculous.
To be clear, I definitely think she screwed up and the blasé attitude she used to write the story came off as self-righteous and mocking at best. But hey, that’s her prerogative on her own blog, right? Where I think she went wrong was attacking all the commenters and defending what was clearly a large mistake in judgment.
Basically, she is getting hammered because she was so honest about her own {stupid} decisions.
You see what I did there? Near as I can tell, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Some people are going to think you’re lying if you don’t divulge everything while others are going to despise the truth if you choose to share all.
I told y’all when I began this post that I wasn’t really sure where I was going with it…and I guess that’s still the truth. Thoughts to share?
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Is there a happy medium?
17 Comments
I’m not really sure my exact position on this. I don’t share my entire life on my blog, and I most definitely never will, that’s just my own personal belief and how I like to run my “internet life”! It’s a tricky topic.
I’m going to check out the half marathon selfie blog right now, I haven’t seen it yet!
It’s very hard to keep the line in a way that keeps you comfortable, as well as divulges enough about you to be interesting. People read blogs because they want a personal touch. They want something untainted by a filter, really, and blogs are the most direct access available. But how to write, show something of yourself, invite the reader in, and then keep something for yourself? Not easy. I have often written and felt vulnerable (one reason why I write so infrequently, actually) and wish that I knew better how to know what I’m comfortable putting out there, and what I’m not. Really, none of us are “experts” but we are enthusiasts with experience and passion for the topics of our blogs. That passion needs to come through unabashedly. The rest is definitely ok to keep to yourself.
I saw that running selfie thing and I thought it was ridiculous all around – both the blogger’s approach as well as the reactions and criticism to it. I think the whole blogging world can be really tough sometimes, it’s FULL of fine lines. I, for example, really don’t blog about my kids. I used to but I always felt a little uncomfortable about it, I began to worry that I was doing activities with my children more for the sake of blogging them than for the experience itself. I know that’s how it goes down a lot of the time for certain types of bloggers. I don’t know if that makes them liars or dishonest or just confused but, whatever it is, I didn’t want to have to question it myself. So when technical issues caused my old blog to get irreparably messed up and I had to start over, I made a personal commitment not to write about those particular parts of my life. It works for me but it’s definitely a tricky issue!
I think there’s a huge difference between someone like you or I having a blog as a hobby and sharing some things and keeping others private, and “professional” bloggers (sorry, short of Pioneer Woman, not a profession) pretending to be experts on everything in life. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has the right to keep aspects of their life private, but if you are purporting to be an expert and writing all sorts of “how to” and advice posts (and making money off it), that’s when you need to be honest about that particular aspect of your life. A lot of them seem to have pigeon holded themselves into certain personas and now have to be dishonest to uphold that. Mostly with the healthy living/eating stuff. Hopefully this makes sense.
Oh and I saw that selfie post – unbelievable! Some people truly have no shame! The runner’s world response was hilarious.
I think there is a happy medium, and most of the bloggers I choose to follow strike the right balance. I guess that’s why I choose to follow them, huh? I do have an issue with bloggers that spin their life so that it appears to be perfect. I don’t want to follow anyone who’s negative all the time and I certainly don’t think that people should disclose everything on their Internet, but, at the same time, when life comes off too perfectly no one can relate to that. As a result, I have very little interest in what they have to say.
Hmmm……
I really don’t read many blogs…..like, at all……but this doesn’t have to be about just blogs. People share parts of life of all different types of media: Facebook, IG, Twitter…..and I really don’t have an opinion on how much someone should share about his/her life. Everyone has such different views on how much they feel comfortable in sharing about certain aspects of their life, whether it be due to just a personal sense of privacy, or feeling the need to create a certain persona, or even putting themselves out there in a vulnerable way to help both themselves and others cope with situations.
On that note, the great thing about the internet is there’s lots of options and no one can force you to read anything you don’t want. I choose to read about uplifting topics and stay away from people vibing in the general direction of toxicity (this includes refusing to watch the utterly depressing thing we call “the news”).
As far as this Georgia selfie girl and the Runner’s World rebuttal article goes……I giggled at both, seeing the humor and mistakes from both sides. Being snarky is never going to satisfy everyone, but then again, some people will also find a way to be annoyed at people who they feel are too positive!!
Some may think grey is a boring color, but life is but a blur of grey, and I say it’s a very interesting and controversial color!!
First of all, I love Tals! I think bloggers do and should filter what they share. If you choose to share, then you open yourself up to criticism and essentially have to “wear it”! 🙂
I dont know if there is–but for me Im pretty much a FILTERLESS blogger.
honest to a fault.
Valid question and I think there’s a fine line. I think people are more guilty of ‘fakebooking’. Meaning they paint this picture of an awesome/perfect life on all platforms of social media. It’s easier for us to share the good stuff and not so much the bad stuff. Not just because of pride but also, who wants to always be a negative nelly? I think that’s why, at this point, I’d prefer to post less instead of falling one way or the other….I guess?? =)
I agree, when I read the post I took some offense. I share a LOT, but I also need some privacy and I’m very honest. Maybe some folks paint a rosey all the time picture, but don’t most of us know that’s just not possible?
I’m so torn on this issue. When I started writing, I found that I was incredibly uncomfortable with sharing personal details or presenting myself as an expert. Instead I chose this “I’m a local – here’s what I know” persona and stuck with it ever since. It makes me neither an expert and it keeps my personal life still fairly private.
However, it means I have WAY less content to write about and as hard as I try, I can’t write a here’s what I did this weekend that didn’t involve the outdoors or what I made for lunch post. I didn’t write a wedding recap and my vacation recaps are pretty focused on venue and activity reviews. It’s a weird mental barrier and I envy bloggers (one in specific) who can write about anything at all.
I wouldn’t call most bloggers liars, especially not in the outdoor world – but I can see where the issue comes in regards to fitness blogs. Or in my case, social media blogs (everyone believes they are an expert in my field). I much rather see honesty from all writers. Totally fail at running a 13.1? Share the lesson learned. Tried some new social strategy and didn’t get the expected results? Tell us why. I’ve written a handful of posts that show the less rosy side of life – and they’ve all been super well received.
In the end though, I can’t say I have issue with the girl who ran the half marathon and took selfies. Chances are that is her true persona and I’m betting her personal life is chuck full of selfie moments. Should she have crashed a race to take selfies? I have no opinion (not a runner and have no idea on accepted etiquette).
Great discussion that’s got me thinking about my own blogging persona. Maybe a photography analogy works here. Even if someone says they’re a documentary photographer (do nomakeupselfie takers fit into this category, I wonder?), they still control what the viewer sees, through selection of subject, how the image is composed, what lens is used, the lighting, any post-processing, etc.
When it comes to blogging, I definitely am selective when it comes to subject matter, so only a slice of my life is out there. When it comes to my family’s outdoor and travel adventures, I’m happy to share, especially if writing about what went well and what didn’t go so helps another family plan a great adventure. So if being selective about what I write about means I’m a liar, then call me a liar. I’ll still call it prudence!
Between your post today and Krysten’s (Darwinian Fail)post yesterday, I’ve been thinking about this subject a lot lately. I post about a fraction of my life because I don’t want my entire life to be meticulously documented online. There’s a difference between writing a good blog that’s honest and completely oversharing. I tend to side with what Heidi said above – I’ll post less instead of oversharing and “fakebooking”.
What a great post! Totally agree with your sentiments. And my own wheels have been turning ever since that post. I’ve been debating how I want to put it all into a post of my own. Not sure yet if I will simply b/c I don’t know that I can get it quite right on paper. You nailed it, however!
I think there is a happy medium to how much we divulge online and some don’t share anything while others don’t breathe without telling you about it. No matter what you are not going to please everyone. While yes it’s your own personal space, if you want people to genuinely read your space (and not because they want to hate read and see what latest drama you are about) than you need to understand that the “my space I do what I want” theory won’t make you as many friends. Being real, and honest, standing up for yourself but also admitting when you were wrong is so important. People look for that. The selfie girl- had she not acted like a self righteous twit about it might not have gotten so much ‘hate’ about it. While yes what she did was wrong, the way she handled it was worse IMO.
I try and be a happy medium about how open I am, but I know that sometimes I overshare and others I leave things more vague. I am selective about certain things I share, but not to intentionally lie or fool people. Unfortunately there are people out there who do purposely mislead others, typically I can tell when others aren’t being honest and will unfollow. Don’t find it helpful to me to read a sugarcoated pile of misleading statements.
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