On to far more exciting stories.
Guess what happened yesterday, friends? If you follow me on the Twitter or Daily Mile, you already know the punchline to my story. However, let me regale you with the details. We shall call this, “How I Cracked My….Cookie.” And we will call it that because I’ve gotta keep this as p.c. as possible!
Besides, how I broke my crotch just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Just saying.
I was supposed to go for my scheduled 3-mile run yesterday, and I was really looking forward to it. However, I had a lot of work to do for my thesis prep course and Tals was driving me nuts. I decided to take her on a quick bike ride to calm her down a bit so she would behave through the morning until we got to our afternoon run. Famous last words.
We were riding down the sidewalk, and I will admit: I was not paying attention. Tally has been so awesome while riding lately that I don’t really focus on her anymore. Unfortunately for me, she decided to abruptly stop and sniff an incredibly fascinating patch of snow, and without thinking, I slammed on my brakes instead of just yanking her down the path. Of course, since I was riding one handed, I only hit the front brakes, slamming my front tire to a dead stop.
Naturally, I went flying and full on cracked my nether regions on the frame of my bike. I followed that graceful display of acrobatics with a dramatic crack of my right knee into the softball bleachers. And then I rolled to the ground, once again yelling every swear word known to humanity.
That mother hurt!
It has been a long time so I’ve done that whole “knock the wind out of me because I hurt my vagina” move. Probably not since I was learning to ride a bike when I was kid. I rolled around on the ground, trying to get a breath while yelling at Tally and cursing her very existence. (We’ve since made up.) Eventually, I realized that I was flailing on the ground by myself and my public display would better be suited for my living room. I dragged my body up and somehow, rode my bike home with Tally in tow. Clearly, I don’t learn lessons very well.
And yes, I have a hematoma on my…. area. How amazingly wretched is that?! Between that mess, my swollen knee, and the fact that my inner thigh looks like a horse kicked me, running was absolutely out of the question yesterday. In fact, I was struggling just to walk! However, I have plans for today. I’m getting that run in if I have to hobble the entire way!
And now, because I really feel the need to change the subject, let me show you this fantastic playlist I just made two nights ago. I’ve been listening to Pandora while running, but I felt the need to dictate my tunes. However, you cannot mock, question, or laugh in any way at my music choices. I’m eclectic…or something. Besides, who doesn’t love Wilson Phillips?!
Pretty bomb playlist, right?! I particularly like when it switched from Wilson Phillips to Green Day 🙂
And with that, I’ll leave y’all with this:
Happy weekend everyone!
Don’t forget: Akinz beanie giveaway ends Sunday!
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